Morning Edition 2026-11-09 Price: Free, Obviously

The Daily

Fucking Stupid

A newspaper for the obvious

From the archive · 2026-11-09 ← Today's edition

The Kitchen Desk

How Much of the Boring Stuff to Buy So Nobody Eats a Naked Tortilla

The unglamorous half of taco night, costed by the head, with the caveats nobody prints on the bag.

By R. Dunmore

Domestic Affairs

Flushing the Toilet Declares War on the Shower; a $40 Valve Brokers Peace

The scald when someone flushes is not a quirk of old pipes. It is an unregulated pressure split, and it has a standard part number.

By M. Plumb

Domestic Affairs

Utility Bills Household for the Fifth It Stopped Using

Portland General Electric's residential customers used 20% less electricity in 2024 than in 2000 and paid 141% more for it. The appliances worked. The savings were collected by the unit price.

By Hollis Carver

Domestic Affairs

The Smell Arrives Before the Stain, Because You Are Smelling the Microbes Themselves

The musty note in the bathroom is not a nuisance to mask. It is an early-warning chemical signal, and your nose is absurdly good at reading it.

By Vera Stipple

The Kitchen Desk

Canned Tuna Casserole Is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Where Every Ending Is Dinner

Six forks between the cupboard and the table, and the best branch at each. The history is made up. The oven temperature is not.

By R. Dunmore

Domestic Affairs

Eight Pairs Stand Between You and a Legally Interesting Underwear Situation

Owning the right number of socks is not a personality. It is a buffer calculation, and it fits on one line.

By Iris Petty

Diversions · Puzzle of the Day

The Total-Coverage Word Search

Every letter in the grid belongs to a word. There is no filler, in any direction. You may circle the entire thing.

Attempt it →

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