Morning Edition 2026-10-17 Price: Free, Obviously

The Daily

Fucking Stupid

A newspaper for the obvious

From the archive · 2026-10-17 ← Today's edition

Domestic Affairs

Eight Hundred Dollars Buys a Titanium Case for a Cartoon Beagle

It costs a good deal more than peanuts, and the Peanuts are the only reason to pay it.

By Hollis Carver

Domestic Affairs

Editor Locates Hell in the Hamper; This Desk Locates the Thermostat.

You cannot end the laundry. You can stop making decisions inside it: one wash class, one buffer quantity, one identical load, forever.

By Iris Petty

The Parlour

Selected Possession Readings, and the Books That Would Correct Us

A canon and a shelf: the secondary literature the register was built from, including the scholarship that would correct it on the cases involving real people.

By Constance Tally

Domestic Affairs

You Did Not Forget the Toilet Paper; You Have No Reorder Point

Running out of the one thing you cannot run out of is not absent-mindedness. It is a missing threshold, and the threshold is one line of arithmetic.

By Iris Petty

The Kitchen Desk

Cook Carries Egg Up Mountain, Discovers Water Has Stopped Trying

Water boils cooler as you climb, so the seven minutes that produced a hard egg at the trailhead produces a raw one at the summit. The pot is not the problem. The sky is.

By R. Dunmore

Domestic Affairs

The Smell Arrives Before the Stain, Because You Are Smelling the Microbes Themselves

The musty note in the bathroom is not a nuisance to mask. It is an early-warning chemical signal, and your nose is absurdly good at reading it.

By Vera Stipple

Diversions · Puzzle of the Day

The Crossword

A gentle midweek crossword. Every clue is fair. Every answer exists.

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