Morning Edition 2026-07-09 Price: Free, Obviously

The Daily

Fucking Stupid

A newspaper for the obvious

Section

Provisions

Inventory, supplies, and staying out of preventable emergencies.

Provisions

The Editor Has Located Hell in the Hamper. We Have Located the Thermostat.

You cannot end the laundry. You can stop making decisions inside it: one wash class, one buffer quantity, one identical load, forever.

By Iris Petty · 2026-07-06

Provisions

You Did Not Forget the Toilet Paper; You Have No Reorder Point

Running out of the one thing you cannot run out of is not absent-mindedness. It is a missing threshold, and the threshold is one line of arithmetic.

By Iris Petty · 2026-06-20

Provisions

Eight Pairs Stand Between You and a Legally Interesting Underwear Situation

Owning the right number of socks is not a personality. It is a buffer calculation, and it fits on one line.

By Iris Petty · 2026-06-19