Fucking Stupid

Diversions · The Strip

Public Works: A Story in Eighteen Panels, Told at One Panel Per Week

The paper's first comic strip. It is silent, it is weekly, and it concerns a routine municipal inspection. We are told it has an ending. We have chosen to trust the process.

By The Editor Unsigned 2026-07-06

An editorial note, by way of introduction. This paper has commissioned its first comic strip. The artist — our staff illustrator, a raccoon known to readers of the author photos — does not speak, and neither does his strip: there are no captions, no dialogue, and no explanation. He submitted eighteen panels in a sealed envelope with a note reading only “weekly.”

We honor the terms. One panel will be published each week, in order, until the story concludes. We have seen the ending. We had questions. They were not answered, and on reflection, they did not need to be. It is, we are assured, a story about public infrastructure inspection.

A raccoon in a hard hat enters a park through a wrought-iron gate, tipping his hat to a pigeon.
Panel 1 of 18
The raccoon strolls the gravel path, hands behind his back, clipboard under one arm.
Panel 2 of 18
The raccoon stops mid-stride, noticing a bed of red flowers beside the path.
Panel 3 of 18
The raccoon kneels and smells a single red flower, eyes closed.
Panel 4 of 18
The raccoon stands composed beside the flower bed, giving the flower a last approving look.
Panel 5 of 18
The raccoon walks on along the path past the flower bed, composed again.
Panel 6 of 18
Seen from afar, the raccoon approaches a round stone fountain with a single water jet.
Panel 7 of 18
The raccoon stands at the fountain, looking up at the water jet.
Panel 8 of 18
The raccoon studies his clipboard in front of the fountain, as if checking a specification.
Panel 9 of 18
The raccoon stands very still beside the fountain, eyes sliding to one side.
Panel 10 of 18
The raccoon stands very still beside the fountain, eyes sliding to the other side. It is the previous panel, mirrored. The desk considered this and approved it.
Panel 11 of 18
The raccoon sets his hard hat and clipboard neatly on the fountain rim.
Panel 12 of 18
Bareheaded, the raccoon climbs over the rim, one leg in the water.
Panel 13 of 18
The raccoon stands ankle-deep in the fountain, facing away, gazing at the horizon.
Panel 14 of 18
A mallard duck stands alone on the path, staring directly at the viewer. The raccoon is not in frame.
Panel 15 of 18
The raccoon climbs back out of the fountain, hard hat already back on, shaking water from one leg. When he re-hatted is not documented.
Panel 16 of 18
Hard hat back on, the raccoon makes a single check mark on his clipboard.
Panel 17 of 18
At dusk, the raccoon leaves the park through the gate, tipping his hat to the same pigeon.
Panel 18 of 18

The story has concluded. We stand by all of it.

The strip updates every Monday. Readers who attempt to deduce the ending from the alt text are reminded that the alt text is for screen readers, and that screen-reader users, unlike you, have earned it.

Readers who track the whereabouts of the hard hat across panels are reminded that personal protective equipment inside a municipal fountain is a matter between an inspector and his conscience, and that the artist declined, through counsel, to be asked about it.